Warning: This post is sexist, whatever that means. I respect women, and promoted equal rights in college, and years after college. All I am saying is, this is just a joke forwarded to me by email..and I just want you guys to laugh, if you think this is entertaining, hehehe.
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her fathercursed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not writeto us, not evena line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, titledeed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye, daddy, the sparkling new Mercedeslimited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the countryclub....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve onboard my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff..a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Begorra! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."
An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Mercedes stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Mercedes and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
"Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse,a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
" However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You root her again."
O....tawa ka naman.