By: Pepot
After the Glorietta II explosion incident, Dudong the husband of Inday together with other Security Guards were transferred to other posts in Makati. Since Dudong can drive and has a professional driver’s license, he was assigned to the Security Contractor Vice President as driver and body guard. As Dudong (wearing a nice barong) and his boss were driving around Makati, they had several discussions and arguments…here goes:
Vp (Vice-President)- Dudong are you familiar with the streets of Makati?
D (Dudong) – The Main streets sir, the inner streets sir, or the sides streets sir?
Vp – Whichever dudong!
D- During day time or night time sir?
Vp- What do you mean dudong?!
D- Sir, here in Makati, traffic changes flow according to the volume of vehicles, during day time most roads are made one- way and during night time with lesser vehicular volume, streets are made two- way Sir. But the streets name remains the same. So familiarity with the street names is not that much necessary anymore but the time of day or travel we may take.
Vp- Yeah I know, I’ve been working here securing most buildings for more than 20 years.
D- (Proud) That’s admirable sir. Just tell me where you want to go sir, I will bring you to your destination in no time.
Vp- Good Dudong bring me to the Manila Peninsula Hotel.
D- Right away sir.
Vp- Dudong you are entering a one way street!
D-Sir, in traffic rules the one way sign should be abolished! Which way is one way anyway? Going- through or getting- out from? To put a “do not enter” sign will be more comprehensible to lessen confusion. Especially to drivers who got their drivers license through the LTO “fixers” without undergoing the required legal processes. So sir, if we be caught by enforcers I will reason with them.
Vp- Dudong you better follow the rules, since you are aware that it’s supposed to be a no entry street, why would you insist?
D- We cannot progress sir unless we insist what is right, in our beloved country, often times arguments has to take place to arrive at a more practical and logical conclusion and change laws that have for so long been irrelevant and below international standards.
Vp- Hay naku Dudong, tell that to congress!!! Hayan na o lumalapit na ang hagad!!!
MMDA officer- (Naka ngising aso at parang nakakaloko) Lisensya mo?
D- Tell me first my violation?
MMDA- (napa atras at ngiwi and bibig at nanlisik ang mata) Hindi mo baa lam? Huwag ka nng magmaang-maangan pa! (pasigaw) LISENSYA MO!!!
D- Unless you tell me my violation, I will not show you my license; my license is a private property which I paid from my personal money. All private personal information is printed on my license and I am a very private person and I do not easily reveal my person especially to strangers even if they are in uniform.
MMDA- (hala nalilitu na!) Are you foreigner? Japanese? Korean sir? Oh tourist sir!!!
D- I am from Catar-‘man (…shhhh…Samar ha!)
MMDA- Oh I em soori ser! I have brother in Quatar, Pipe fitter and welder ser! Yu Kontractor?
D- I said Catar’man, No I am with my Vice president
MMDA-Oh soori ser! (sumaludo pa ang ulol) Wer is opis sir? Me, I em gud in “palitada” very smooth wall!!! No like that, like that (nag mumuestro ang kamay na parang alon-alon). Ok ser go go! Please remember me, I trafik this place every morning. My nameplate is Esteban Baranquillo, trapik dibsyoin Makati!
D- I said Catar’man!
MMDA-(Medyo nahiya) Ok thank you MAN!!!
Vp- (Muntik ng atakihin sa kakatawa)
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Guess who the vp is?